Doing Without Understanding

I haven’t had much time this week for full-on blogs. So it’s excerpts from what I’m reading, which for now is Mere Christianity for the fourth or fifth time.

“A man can eat his dinner without understanding exactly how food nourishes him. A man can accept what Christ has done without knowing how it works: indeed, he certainly would not know how it works until he has accepted it.”

Easy to Believe

Very well then, atheism is too simple. And I will tell you another view that is also too simple. It is the view I call Christianity-and-water, the view which simply says there is a good God in Heaven and everything is all right- leaving out all the difficult and terrible doctrines about sin and hell and the devil, and the redemption. Both these are boys’ philosophies.
-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Good Stuff From a Wacky Kid

First off, I don’t claim to understand everything about this girl. But if the best art comes out of deep pain, she’s got enough fuel to last well into her forties. Didn’t put any of her pictures of food on here, but her use of light has gotten incredibly better! Keep it up Auds!

Faith That Cuts Deeply

A pastor came and spoke at our church on Wednesday night from Honduras. His name is Pastor Israel and he trains pastors in the mountains of Honduras. The Cove has sent quite a number of people from the church to work with him there and every one that comes back says the same thing. Pastor Israel is widely known for being the man. He has influence. He has pull. The kind of quiet and unspoken pull of a Don Corleone. But not in a menacing way. Either way, his nicknames are “El Heffe” and “The Godfather”. He speaks very little English and used a translator during the message that sounded like he was straight out of the mountains of North Carolina. But, even in Spanish there was power in what he was saying. His message was simple, but filled with the Spirit.

When speaking about turning the other cheek and how only a true worshipper of Christ could conceive of this, the translator asked Pastor Israel for a moment to speak to the congregation. He told of helping the Pastor and his family pack their bags and move from a place they had lived and ministered for quite some time. Everyone in the family wept over how they had been hurt by a member of the congregation. Pastor Israel had been severely wounded by this person. The next day when the Pastor was at the grocery store he saw this same person. He hugged the man and invited him to dinner without ever letting on that the man had done anything. The man never knew how much he had hurt Israel by how strongly he had been shown love in return.

Another man in this same vein is Pastor Jackson from Kenya that’s in partnership with Port City. When you hear these guys pray or speak there is always a richness of the Spirit in their words. It was the same thing with pastors and missionaries that spoke at both of the Urbana conventions I attended. It always leaves me with a sense that the power of God is tangible with them. You get a genuine sense that there’s very little disconnect between their words and their experience. Between what they are calling people to and what they are actually living.

It also leaves me with a sense that in the Western Church, something is missing. Something has gone awry. I wholly believe that there are massive saints of the faith in many of our churches. But, with many, many believers in our churches I find a disconnect in all of the spiritual information we fill our minds with and the fruit of our lives. If you’ve read much of my blog, you can see that is evident within my own life. Many words, few actions.

When I listen to these men speak their few words something in my chest screams out to be, do and live something genuinely and passionately like Jesus.

Relevance is a great tool, but I think it may take center stage too often in the churches most of us attend. It brings people in who would otherwise feel alienated by some of the old styles of worship, but it takes a lot of work to create that environment and easily becomes the end rather than the means! Once they are there, everything else must be Christ.

Once the Spirit does all of the work to get me to this point of reflection, everything else must be Christ from here on. It’s what He calls me to. Pastor Israel said, “What if your physical heart took a vacation? You would die. It is the same with our hearts following Christ. No vacations. Ever again. Every day. Every minute. Until meet Him.”

Pastor Jackson at Port City’s 10th birthday.

Pastor Israel at The Cove Wednesday night.

“This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people.”

-C.S. Lewis

Donald Miller

What I’m saying is I think life is staggering and we’re just used to it. We all are like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we’re given- it’s just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral.

-Donald Miller, “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years”

Low-light, My Old Friend

I always know it’s going to eventually hit me. It’s only a matter of time. You can’t tell by just hanging out a little with me. I can cover it up pretty well. Like talking to an Alzheimer’s sufferer on the phone. You have to spend a lot of time to actually notice. It’s even hard for me to pick up on it at times.

I realized it had arrived today when I was writing a little one-page literary masterwork for myself. When I re-read it, I almost offed myself. It was bleak, man!

The weird thing is, I actually kind of enjoy it. Most people won’t get that, but some will. I know for a fact some will. I’ve always known that about myself. After a girl and I broke up back in the day I was hurt for quite some time. I finally moved on from missing her and found that I missed the hurt more than her. Like it was my pal or something. Same thing with this.

I’m definitely most creative “feeling” in the midst of that foulness, though I may not actually be anymore creative. I’m definitely more observant and introspective.

So, welcome autumn! I greet you with open arms.

Quotes

“He heals their swollen pride and nourishes their love, that they may not wander even farther away through self-confidence, but rather weaken as they they see the Godhead grown weak by sharing our garments of skin, and wearily fling themselves down upon him, so that he may arise and lift them up.” — ‘He realizes the need for Christ the Mediator’, “The Confessions” by St. Augustine

“No culture can rise above it’s concept of God.” — “Trinity: God Is”, a sermon by Mark Driscoll

“…the first step towards deliverance is to treat the flesh according to God’s viewpoint. And what is that? It is not in trying to crucify the flesh but in acknowledging that it has been crucified, not in walking according to our sight but according to our faith in the Word of God.” — ‘The Deliverance of the Cross’, “The Spiritual Man” by Watchman Nee

Don’t let your heart get heavy…..there’s a strength that lies & hides

One of the hard things in life is that life is, in fact, hard for everyone. It’s not as if someone out there has figured it all out and has the quick fix for every situation. Like if we’d replicate the way they do it, things would suddenly be easier. Every day. All the time.

Jesus lived life out spotlessly and life was just as hard, if not much harder. He was killed. He was ridiculed. Publicly called a liar and had people begging for him to be gotten rid of.

And yet, this same thing that could suffocate us from living at all can be the very same thing that encourages us and helps us navigate through life.

Jo and I had a conversation with a friend that is having marriage troubles and feeling beaten down. Few things can make you feel defeated faster than a marriage under fire! We both said, “This is not easy! This has no quick fix. But, believe us when we tell you, this is possible”.

Knowing that there is someone by your side that can walk with you as you navigate through the tough stuff and tell you what is unnecessary and what just needs some work can be the little bit helps you accomplish it.

Our culture has permeated the church, if in no other way, by telling us that if something requires work it isn’t worth our time. Things should come easy! But that isn’t what scripture tells us at all. Things do require work! Often times the best things require the most work. God told Adam he would toil. And we do. We go through things that make no sense. We come up against things that we have no idea how to do or how we can make them work. And that is the great thing about life being hard for everyone! There is someone out there that has been through that same ordeal and though they may not have the perfect answer or even the answer you want to hear they know enough to help you get through it.

I think about one of my favorite episodes of The West Wing called “Noel”. Josh is dealing with post-traumatic stress and his boss Leo, who dealt with alcoholism, throws him a little tale of wisdom.

“A guy falls into a hole and can’t get out. He screams for help! A doctor walks by, writes out a prescription, throws it down the hole and tells him good luck. Still screaming for help, a priest comes by. He writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole and tells him good luck. While feeling like he’ll never get out, his friend comes by. He says, ‘hey man, can you help me out?!’ So his friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘what are you doing? Now we’re both stuck!’ His friend says, ‘but we’re not. I’ve been down here before and I know the way out’.”

I look at our friend and say, “We know the way out. Just trust us! You’re not alone anymore.”

Lyrics

I can honestly say that over the past few months I’ve been in a dry place not only of writing, but also of music. I heard someone say a few years ago that music speaks to us most strongly while we’re young and our hormones are wreaking havoc. We attach things to music in a much more emotional way than when we’re older.

I can definitely say that I see that! Don’t get me wrong…..it’s not that I don’t have hormones and it’s definitely not that music doesn’t affect me anymore. But the people that were really close to me when I was between 16-25 could tell you that the affect of music over me then was a completely different animal to what it is now.

I still can’t stand still when I’m playing worship. I still have to contain myself with a guitar in my hand. But, I don’t hear a random song for the second time and it almost bring me to tears or bring me out of my skin like it once did. I don’t attach every song I hear to a person or event. I still do it with a song once in a while, but probably only one out of every 20 or 30 times.

But lately I’ve been really affected by songs that I already knew and didn’t do anything for me the first 50 or so times that I heard them. And it’s been by artists that I normally wouldn’t listen to. For instance, I loathe Nickelback with nearly all that I am. But the past couple of times I’ve heard “Far Away” it’s moved me almost to the point to where I would say, “I freaking love that song”.

Another much less embarassing one would be Sara Groves’ “Conversations”. That chick can write a song. It’s not really my style of music, but she’s still great.

‘CONVERSATIONS’

“I don’t know how to say this, I don’t know how to stand, I don’t know where to put my feet, or where to put my hands.
I’ve got them in my pockets, my fingers are freezing cold, they’re wrapped around a ticket stub that’s four weeks old, and I don’t know how to say this.

I think we’ve figured out this world is bigger than you and I.
We’ve exhausted our wealth of knowledge and have no more answers for mankind.

CHORUS:
We’ve had every conversation in the world about what is right and what has all gone bad, but have I mentioned to you that this is all I am, this is all that I have?

I’m not trying to judge you. That’s not my job. I am just a seeker too, in search of God.

Somewhere somehow this subject became taboo. I have no other way to communicate to you. This is all that I am. This is all that I have.

repeat CHORUS

I would like to share with you what makes me complete. I don’t claim to have found the Truth, but I know it has found me.

The only thing that isn’t meaningless to me is Jesus Christ and and way he set me free. This is all that I have. This is all that I am.

The only thing that isn’t meaningless to
me is Jesus Christ and and way he set me free. This is all that I have. This is all that I am.

I don’t how to say this, I don’t know where to start. I just know that I care for you and I’m speaking from my heart…”

And while I write this another Sara Groves song comes on. One that Jo sent the lyrics of to our small group when one of the guys’ mom died. Check it out if you get a chance. “What Do I Know?”

I am being moved.

24 + 10

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my age and where I am mentally, spiritually and also how my personality changed. So I decided to compare myself to a younger brand of me. Of course, 18-year old Keith came to mind first, but everyone’s an idiot at 18.

So, I thought about me a decade ago. I was already on my own and exposed to the world, or at least moreso than Davidson had previously offered. I had been in school for 2 & 1/2 years and was living beside of campus in the Quad. I had just as little figured out then as I do now about a career, so I won’t delve into that. I’ll just stick to the basics here for time’s sake.

Mentally, I challenge myself far more than I did then. And yet, I know for a fact that my mind is not as sharp! Not in a major way though, like I can’t remember anything or I’m slow-cousin Jimmy with my humor. But things are slightly foggier at times. Things I wasn’t good at when I was a kid are ever so slightly worse now. I can’t find things. Jo says I don’t look hard enough, but it’s been a chink my armor since I was 5.

Segway from mental to spiritual, I don’t talk theology like I once did. I used to love talking about spiritual and theological issues for hours on end. I’ve sat up all night a few times talking to friends about things like the sovereignty of God and free-will versus election. I loved it! It made me feel more spiritual when I made points that others said were really good.

I let all that go during what I’ll call “the struggles”. I saw how I was so good at talking, yet not doing. I saw it for a long time and, ironically, did nothing about it. When I finally did, it was because I was forced to own up.

In many ways I’m finally back to where I was back then. Playing worship, finding joy in serving and walking that fine line between modesty, humility & knowing I’m finally doing what God wanted me to the whole time.

The main progression for me spiritually over the past ten years can be summarized by a phrase that Mike Ashcraft often uses. “Lord, humble me by your presence, so you don’t have to by my circumstances”. I was a fool when I was younger. Always thinking I could get away with everything. I was in no way humbled then and my circumstances were continually bringing me back to earth with a loud thump! A few good, hard thumps and you become much more aware of where your focus really is.

This is where my biggest struggle comes: my personality. When I was younger I was much more social. I made friends right and left. I never wanted to miss anything. I kept up with all of my friends. I cared about where they were and what they were doing. I was not reflective of my actions and words. I left a wake of hurt and didn’t care what people’s perception of me was, although I truly did. I wanted to be known as a tough dude! Came from years of being compared to all of my roughneck cousins. I womanized. Came from my need to feel more like a man. I didn’t want people to know what I was doing, but I quietly did. I wanted them to know what was up! I wanted to prove to them and myself that I was worthwhile. I was a real man.

Nowadays, I like socializing, but I can be completely alone just as easily. I find myself not caring quite as much about how much of a man I am. I just want to leave this world not being pigeon-holed. I want to be seen as a whole picture, not a single color. Not a one-trick pony. Not just “he drove a truck” or “he played guitar”. That I’m compassionate. I love art. I can be serious. I can be appropriate when it’s time. I can be discerning. I can make you laugh. I can laugh at or with you. I rarely laugh at the easy joke. Even though I put far too much attention on women until I found Jo, my passion was and is in the hearts of men. I can be comfortable in almost any situation, except maybe around lesbians. Sorry, if any lesbians are reading this I’m ok if I know you. Few things can be talked about that I can’t keep up with. I love my friends fiercely! I love music only second to Jesus and Jo. Jo may argue that when we get in the car to go somewhere. I love sports almost as much. I can talk about the Cowboys and Steelers in the 70s or the demise of Leeds and Newcastle United.

My personality then was driven by contempt and complacency. It’s driven now by a thirst for knowledge and the desire to be more complex and diverse than I once was.

If you’re still reading, sorry this got really long-winded!